Thursday, September 6, 2012

Just a Little Taste

Hi Blog-World!  Lately I've gotten a lot of complaints about my lack of posts.  I truly am sorry.  When I started blogging I was staying home working on the house and had more time to blog.  Since August of last year I started working full-time, to help afford all this "reno" work, and have neglected you all.  Most all of the work we have been doing around here has been necessary but not pretty, know what I mean?  Well, the latest BIG project was getting the attic insulated with blow-in insulation.  We went with the wool/fiberglass mix, (it's fluffy & pink) and we highly recommend it!  We found out that the recycled cardboard insulation (we originally planned to have blown in) soaks up moisture, thus gets moldy, thus needs to be replaced in 6 years!  Yikes!  So we switched and are so happy.  Hopefully this will never need to be replaced.  I can tell you that the house is SO much cooler since we did this.  I highly recommend everyone to check their attic and see if it is properly insulated.  I'm told it will save money on your electrical bill too, we haven't gotten one since we've insulated.  It would greatly be appreciated over here, since our utility bill has been $400 in the winter!
Okay, sorry to bore you with all that stuff.  See, I told you there has been nothing around here to blog about!  Well, I take that back, we are about to get personal!  As a lot of you know Jeff and I have been married for almost 8 years.  We have been actively TTC (trying to conceive) for 4 1/2 years.  Wow. Yeah, I know!  I cannot believe it's been that long, then again, I can.  So, for over half our marriage we have had this "stress" and when I say "stress" I don't even know where to start with how this affects your marriage, your self-esteem, your self-worth, your EVERYthing!  It hurts, it's so painful.  Unless you've gone through this or been close to someone who has, let me take that back, UNLESS YOU'VE GONE THROUGH THIS PERSONALLY,  you will never understand.  Don't try to!  We don't expect you to.  No, there's not some club of  angry, most likely to  never conceive, hate group out there.  It's just...when you want to start your family and be a mother, and you don't get a baby you start to see all your friends around you becoming mothers, and there is a little resentment.  It's mostly like: "I really hope you appreciate what you have" feelings going on.  I want nothing more than my friends to be happy and have large families, but please NEVER say to your friend TTC, "you don't understand, your not a mother", or stupid phrases like, " well Billy just has to look at me and I pop out another one"!  Honestly its best that you don't say anything at all if you can't think about your words before you let them out.  I REALLY wasn't expecting to vent like that.  Really, I'm sorry.  One more thing, it's no one's FAULT.  Please don't ask your friend who is TTC, well, what's wrong?  Is it YOU or HIM!  For real???  What are you possibly going to gain from this knowledge?  AND if I wanted you to know I'd offer that bit of information on my own, when I'm ready. Thank you.  What does it matter anyways?  We are a family, a team, we are in this together.  It is the fault of NO ONE.  There.  I'm done.  I promise.
I said all that to lead into what's going on now.  I'll admit I am selfish.  I want a biological baby, who doesn't? To be able to look at your little one and say she has your husband’s nose and your eyes.  To know you, your husband, and God created this being; and she is  perfect and a witness to the love you and your husband share.  I mean, who wouldn't want that?  After years of being selfish and having a BIG ole' pity party, and I do mean BIG. I got over myself.  I DON'T HAVE TO GIVE BIRTH TO BE A MOM!  Neither do you.  That's not all being a mother is about.  Since, probably about January of this year we turned our priorities toward adoption.  Wow, what a breath of fresh air!  It feels SO good.  We've been through a lot on this short journey already.  A lot of stress and frustration, even disappointment.  Anyone who goes through an adoption will tell you these things, BUT what do they always say?  It's ALWAYS worth it in the end.  I'm ready for the end already… where are you?  Oh did I mention the part about patience?  Whether you are TTC or trying to adopt, PATIENCE is key.  If you don't have it, you will learn quickly that you need it.  
*UPDATE* Jeff and I have one more DHR foster/adopt class!*  Yippee!  Now that doesn't mean we are done.  We still have a CPR class and 2 homestudies.  Things are moving along with the house and hopefully I will blog my way through the process.  If I get caught up with other “stuff”, I'll apologize now.  Our lives could be changing in a matter of months!  All prayers are appreciated!
We are working on doing a girls room and a boys room.  Right now the girls room is equipped with two toddler beds and the boys room has a full-size bed.  We are only fostering children 3 and under, so I'm thinking they will both girl/boy, girl/girl, be in the girl room.  Don't freak out it's not going to have pink walls!  We are trying to keep both the rooms pretty gender neutral.  It's not like we are getting a sonogram and 9 months to prepare, so we are doing the best we can.  I'm going to give you a little sneak peak of things I've been working on in each room.  First the girl room:

I cut up old vintage sheets and crocheted them with an extra large hook to make this shabby little rug for the "girl" room.
   Next you can kinda get a "feel" for the boy room by this little stool I re-did.
Boy room 013Boy room 016Boy room 012
I want the colors to be bright and modern (the opposite of the girl room, which will be shabby and retro).  Lots of navy and white with pops of really bright green.  I’m hoping to refinish an antique headboard with this same color green and make it really distressed.  What do you think?
Thanks for listening!


Kristen said...

I love you guys so much. I have no idea what it is like to be ttc for 4 1/2 years - really I don't know how it is to be ttc longer than 10 and I thought THAT was awful.

You guys are in my prayers. I am so thrilled for you and you are going to be such a blessing to ANY child who is blessed with your love. You both have such beautiful, caring hearts. It brings tears to my eyes thinking of the impact you will have on young souls. What a beautiful opportunity!

Meghan said...

Thank you Kristen. I know we will never stop (TTC), but it feels right to adopt. They need us and we need them. I'm just ready for this new chapter to begin! I haven't completely mastered the patience thing! :) Thank you for listening! It means a lot to have Christian brothers and sisters that care. It's such a lonely road. Love you girl!